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dresden_kink_mods ([personal profile] dresden_kink_mods) wrote in [community profile] dresden_kink2011-03-21 09:37 pm
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Re: Society for the Continuation of the John Marcone List

(Anonymous) 2011-06-19 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
ooh and a collection of all the John Marcone facts currently listed

+John Marcone never comes first. If he is going to come first, his orgasm better slow the fuck down.
+Knives don't kill people. John Marcone does.
+There are no straight men. Only men John Marcone hasn't gotten around to yet.
+John Marcone is always on top during sex because John Marcone never fucks up.
+John Marcone made Journey stop believing.
+John Marcone is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like John Marcone.
+Jalapenos think John Marcone is hot.
+John Marcone is more hardcore than the entire works of Arturo Genosa.
+John Marcone can hit a target 30,000 feet away. In the rain. At night. Blindfolded. By pointing and saying "bang."
+There used to be a street named after John Marcone, but it was changed because nobody crosses John Marcone and lives.
+NeverNever exists because it's afraid to be on the same plane of existence with John Marcone.
+Demons are afraid to visit Chicago because it's John Marcone's city.
+Some wizards can walk on water but only John Marcone can swim through land.
+When John Marcone does the hunting, the prey is never seen again.
+John Marcone does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. John Marcone goes killing.
+John Marcone has no skeletons in his closet. There are no skeletons left when John Marcone is finished.
+The quickest way to a man's heart is through John Marcone's dick.
+There is no "control" key on John Marcone's keyboard, 'cause John Marcone is ALWAYS in Control
+There is also no "escape" key, because there is no escaping John Marcone.
+This includes Harry Dresden. He only thinks he's escaped John Marcone. In reality, it is all part of such an intricate, flawless plan that it would make David Xanatos and Light Yagami go, "damn."
+John Marcone never gets laid. "Gets laid" gets John Marcone
+Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is John Marcone.
+John Marcone sleeps with a pillow beneath his gun.
+John Marcone once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with Harry Dresden.
+Lightning never strikes in the same place twice. Neither does John Marcone.
+Heaven doesn't want John Marcone, and Hell KNOWS he'll take over.
+Marcone owns everyone's ass. Harry is an ass. Therefore, Marcone owns Harry twice over.
+Marcone isn't organized. Chaos is just scared shitless of him.
+John Marcone is not an angel. But at this rate, he'll own all of them.
+When John Marcone crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
+On Valentine’s Day, John Marcone gives Harry Dresden the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, John Marcone believes every day should be Valentine’s Day.
+Life hopes Marcone treats it well.
+There is no outsmarting John Marcone, he only lets you think you've outsmarted him as part of his Master Plan.
+And if you do outsmart him?
He has a backup plan for that too.
+And a backup plan for the backup plan, just in case Harry Dresden shows up. Because John Marcone always makes room in his plans for Harry Dresden.
+John Marcone only lets Harry Dresden blow up buildings as part of his plan; all his other buildings have been warded against such attempts.
+John Marcone once stabbed a man in his soul.
+With a spork. He wasn't worth one of his knives.
+With his mind, because John Marcone does not use sporks.
+John Marcone invented sporks.
+John Marcone can exhaust a White Court Vampire.
+Actually, jalapenos aren't all that hot as peppers go. However, there's a variety called "ghost chili" that's unbelievably hot. They even think John Marcone's hot.
+Damn right they do. John Marcone has a rating of over 2 million on the Scoville scale (which measures the heat of peppers, fyi.)
+No one knows Jone Marcone's real name because if you hear it you die of fright
+John Marcone's real name is worse than Bloody Mary. Say his name three times in a mirror and ....