Someone wrote in [community profile] dresden_kink 2012-01-13 02:58 pm (UTC)

Re: Fill: We Are All Phoenixes, 4/5

So now that I'd made the decision, there was really only putting it into play to do.

Which turned out to be much harder than I had suspected it would be, even after seeing the way Thomas's eyes had gleamed at me in the park.

Then again, how exactly do you say to your White Court vampire brother, "I know you can't touch Justine and you're sad about that and I don't really have a solution, but what about if your wizard brother, who you don't know at all, gets in between you and we try to have sex that way?"

Yeah. That would only end up with Thomas's hands around my throat about the tenth or eleventh word. When it came to Thomas and Justine, silence just pervaded the apartment. They were there, and I saw them, and they didn't try to hide what they were feeling, but we didn't talk about it. Not that way.

But of course neither of them was going to save my ass and come up with some way to say it, because neither of them was that stupid. That left it up to me to open my big mouth and mess things up.

As usual.

-----------------------------------

I waited until Thomas was out, running or feeding or whatever it was he was doing to keep himself alive. Justine sat curled up in a corner of my couch, the way she did whenever she wasn't in her wheelchair or in bed, watching the fire as if it was a TV. Her eyes were clearer now, her face a little more full, and she seemed to have grown into wearing the silver hair. But she still didn't talk a lot.

I cleared my throat. Justine twitched her head in my direction, and I decided it was the best invitation I was going to get. "Justine, what, um, do you think should happen next?"

Justine blinked at me, her eyes large and hazy, but getting less hazy as I watched. "What do you mean?"

I took a deep breath and stared at my hands. I thought I could say this if I could just get all the way through it without being interrupted, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. So I had to make it sound as good as I could in as few words as possible.

"It's just, I think there's a way you and Thomas could sort of touch, you know? If we were in bed and I was in the middle, and you were on either side of me, and--" I saw Justine's mouth opening, and sped up, but she didn't try to say anything. Probably her jaw was dangling at my audacity. Well, that was better than the slap across the face I'd assumed I was going to get by this time. "Anyway, it could sort of work, you know? And that way you could be together. Sort of. Um. I could close my eyes or something? I don't know, it's an idea, because I hate to see you and Thomas being torn apart by this, and something has to change, and..."

I trailed off. I honestly hadn't expected to talk that much, and I had to give Justine a chance to speak, after all.

Justine continued to stare at me. Then she looked away, and I swallowed. It felt as though someone had withdrawn the pin that was going to drive me into a collecting board.

"I'm so tired of people making sacrifices for me," Justine whispered. "And this would just be another of them."

"For who?" I asked, frowning at her. "For you? Then of course we don't do it. But I don't think it would be for Thomas, not really." The way my brother's eyes burned when he looked at her, I doubted he would give up any chance to be close to her. The main problem was keeping him from strangling me for touching her.

"For you," Justine said, and scowled at me, her eyes brighter than I'd seen them since we brought her home. "Because you're only doing this because you want to help us, and not because you want to sleep with us or anything."

I fumbled, and flushed, and mumbled, and finally said, "Look, Justine, I'm going to show you something, all right? Because it's better than trying to tell you."

Justine eyed me frostily, but nodded.

I leaned forward and kissed her.

Her lips were colder than I expected, and her hands fell open on the couch as though she'd let go of some high rope. But then they roamed up and settled on my shoulders, and she was gasping into my mouth, and her mouth was open when I pulled back and her eyes were looking at me in wonder.

"See?" I said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as gently as I could. "It's not going to be a hardship for me."

"And what about me?"

That was Thomas's voice, coming from the doorway. I shivered, and then I stood up and walked toward him. Action before thought. It was what I did best, right?

Thomas stood there with his arms folded, his hair as perfect as ever, even though he hadn't combed it that morning. It just looked shaggy and soft, and I wanted to run my fingers through it. I reached up and did that, dragging my hand down so that my nails were on his face, and Thomas opened his mouth and stared at me like Justine had.

I grinned at him. Sometimes it was neat surprising my big brother.

I kissed him, and his lips were a lot warmer than Justine's. And if I stopped listening to the part of me that was shrieking He's a man! A male! With a dick! Like yours!, or at least decided that it really said something about me that I was thinking that instead of He's your brother!, then it was nice.

Then Thomas wrapped his arms around me, and leaned on me, so I had to stagger to take his weight.

And it became more than nice. It became something that lit fireworks behind my eyes and candles in my brain. I was gasping when I finally pulled away from him and put my hands on his arms to settle myself.

Thomas's eyes glittered like stars as he looked from me to Justine, the first time since the confrontation with Lara in the park that I'd seen him look alive. Then he nodded to me, and held out his hand to Justine, who wrapped hers in a fold of the blanket before she lifted it to touch his.

"I want this," Thomas said. He looked down my body, and smiled. "And I can see you do, too."

I swallowed shakily and grinned at him. "Yeah. I do."

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